Day 18
The Breaking Point
On Thursday, May 15th I came down to earth. Everything I did that day seemed to accentuate the loss. So for two days I have put one foot in front of the other and pushed through with times of tears. I couldn’t write. I couldn’t share, but this morning I put on the Country’s Family reunion “Wednesday Night Prayer Meeting” video and cleared my mind. Listening to the old hymns and songs of the faith reminded me of all God has done for us and all the promises He has made us.
God reminded me of the story Catherine Marshall told of her experience when her husband, Rev. Peter Marshall died. So I went to the bookcase and found the book, Meeting God at Every Turn.
Reading her words reminded me that God hasn’t left me and that there is work to be done.
Hear is how she describes those days:
During the funeral preparations and all the myriad decisions to be made,
it was as though I were taken over and managed. In addition, a sort of
protective shield was placed over my emotions. Somehow for those days
I was lifted to a higher realm. Was this, I wondered, what it felt like
actually to be living in the kingdom of God on earth?
Then about eight days after Peter’s death, suddenly that higher realm
in which I had been so lovingly enveloped was gone, and I plummeted
to earth to stand again on feet of clay in the valley where salt tears and
loneliness and the fear of coping alone with the problems of everyday
life were all too real.
My Lord was nearby of course, ready to help me all the way. Yet I
sensed another painful but necessary growth process stretched ahead.
My experience was different in some ways,
but similar in that the Holy Spirit is ministering to me in a different way now.
Those first two weeks He carried me but now He is asking me to walk with Him.
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