My Journey Through The Dark Valley – Day 30

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Monday, May 27th

Day 30

“Jesus Wept”

Jesus knew as He was traveling to Bethany that Lazarus had died.

Jesus knew as He met with Mary and Marha that Lazarus would be raised from the dead.

Jesus knew – and yet He wept.

He wept because knowing the end of the story doesn’t mean you can’t cry at the sad parts.

Being compassionate and empathetic with people is not about being right or correcting emotions.

It’s about entering in a burdensome place with people

and choosing to bear it with them to help them through it.

-Doug Hannah

A small pre-dawn melt-down this morning.

Poor Ms. Pepper retreated to her crate but now she is back by my side.

Step by step, moment by moment.

Lord, I am so glad that You are with me.

I could not walk this path alone.

Thank You for a support system that reaches far and wide – From the Atlantic to the Pacific –

for friends like Effie who sit beside me, who hold my hand, and who cry with me.

Only You could have made this possible,

My Journey Through The Dark Valley – Day 29

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Sunday, May 26th

Day 29

Lord, You speak to me in Your Word.

Yesterday I was done – but You were there.

Hast thou not known?

Hast thou not heard,

that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth,

fainteth not, neither is weary?

There is no searching of His understanding.

He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might He increaseth strength.

Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall:

but they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength;

they shall mount up with wings as eagles;

they shall run, and not be weary;

and they shall walk and not faint.

Isaiah 40:28-31

Lord, You speak to me in the old hymns of the faith.

Oft-times the day seems long, our trials hard to bear,

We’re tempted to complain, to murmur and despair;

But Christ will soon appear to catch His Bride away,

All tears forever over in God’s eternal day.

—

Sometimes the sky looks dark with not a ray of light,

We’re tossed and driven on, no human help in sight;

But there is One on heav’n who knows our deepest care,

Let Jesus solve your problem – just go to Him in prayer.

—

Life’s day will soon be o’er, all storms forever past,

We’ll cross the great divide to glory, safe at last;

We’ll share the joys of heav’n – a harp, a home, a crown,

The tempter will be banished, we’ll lay our burden down.

Chorus

It will be worth it all when we see Jesus,

Life’s trials will seem so small when we see Christ;

One glimpse of His dear face

All sorrows will erase,

So bravely run the race

Till we see Christ,

-Esther K. Rusthoi

When I lift my heart, my head, my hands – and praise You, O Lord,

You give me a song!

There is nothing that pleases the Lord so much as praise.

There is no test of faith so true as the grace of thanksgiving.

Are you praising God enough?

Are you thanking Him for your actual blessings that are more than can be numbered,

and are you daring to praise Him even for those trials which are all but blessings in disguise?

Have you learned to praise Him in advance for the things that have not yet come?

“Thou waitest for deliverance! O soul, thou waitest long!

Believe that now deliverance doth wait for thee in song!

“Sigh not until deliverance thy fettered feet doth free:

With songs of great deliverance God now doth compass thee.”

-Streams In The Desert

My Journey Through The Dark Valley – Day 27

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May 24th

Day 27

Give others the sunshine, tell Jesus the rest.

I must tell Jesus all of my trials;

I cannot bear these burdens alone;

In my distress He kindly will help me;

He ever loves and cares for His own.

I must tell Jesus!

I must tell Jesus!

I cannot bear these burdens alone;

I must tell Jesus!

I must tell Jesus!

Jesus can help me, Jesus alone.

O God, I bring to You my heavy heart.

I cast on You my every care.

You know my burden.

I leave it with You and take away with me the song you give me.

Yes, I have suffered loss, but I always have You.

My loss is only temporary.

Death is but a passage to a new life.

A life not stained by sin.

Eternal life with You.

So I can sing because You give me the song.

My Journey Through The Dark Valley – Day 26

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I will stand upon my watch,

and set me upon the tower,

and will watch to see what He will say to me,

and what I shall answer when I am reproved.

And the Lord answered me, and said,

Write the vision,

and make it plain upon tables,

that he may run that readeth it.

For the vision is yet for an appointed time,

but at the end it shall speak, and not lie:

though it tarry, wait for it;

because it will surely come, it will not tarry.

Habakkuk 2:1-3

It is perfect rest to fully learn and wholly trust this glorious promise.

We may know without a question that His purposes shall be accomplished

when we have fully committed our way to Him

and are walking in watchful obedience to His every prompting.

This faith will give a calm and tranquil poise to the spirit

and save us from the restless fret of trying to do too much ourselves.

Wait,

and every wrong will righten;

Wait,

and every cloud will brighten,

If only you will wait.

-A.B. Simpson

-Springs In The Valley

“Write the vision.”

For years I have been writing my daily conversations with God in black composition books. I now have bookshelves filled with years of this faith journey.

It has helped me to see where I have been and where God is taking me.

When I began this journey on April 28th, I knew I would not make it without holding fast to God’s hand, and telling Him my heart’s hurts and listening to His guidance. I did not expect Him to ask me to share my private thoughts. But that is exactly what He did.

It didn’t happen that first day. God had to get me through the initial shock and confusion, but I began sharing on May 11th and there have been some days that I just could not get on the computer so there is a time lag of about 20 days. It has been 46 days and I am only on day 26. There were days when all I could do was read my Bible and my devotionals (in case you haven’t noticed I have three favorites – Springs In The Valley, Streams In The Desert, and My Utmost For His Highest) and always talking to God.

Thank you to each one of you who have shared your thoughts with me, encouraged me, prayed for me, and loved me. You will never know how much it matters!

My Journey Through The Dark Valley – Day 25

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When the soul is anchored to the will of God and His exceeding great and precious promises,

with the calm unwavering confidence that His power and love are behind us

and never fail us until all His will for us is accomplished,

our life must be victorious.

In the center of the whirlpool,

while the water rushed around,

there’s a space of perfect stillness,

though with turmoil it is bound:

All is calm, and all is quiet,

scarcely e’en a sense of sound.

So with us – despite the conflict –

when in Christ His Peace is found.

-Springs In The Valley

Commit thy way unto the Lord,

trust also in Him;

and He shall bring it to pass.

Psalm 37:5

Roll upon Jehovah thy way;

trust upon Him:

and He worketh.

Young Translation

“He worketh.”

When?

Now.

We are so in danger of postponing our expectation of His acceptance of the trust,

and His undertaking to accomplish what we ask Him to do,

instead of saying as we commit. “He worketh.”

He worketh even now;

and praise Him that it is so.

The very expectancy enables the Holy Spirit to do the very thing we have rolled upon Him.

It is out of our reach.

We are not trying to do it anymore.

“HE WORKETH!”

-Streams In The Desert

God is not concerned about our plans;

He does not say – Do you want to go through this bereavement; this upset?

He allows these things for His own purpose.

The things we are going through are either making us sweeter, better, nobler men and women;

or they are making us more captious and fault-finding, more insistent upon our own way.

The things that happen either makes us fiends or they make us saints;

it depends entirely upon the relationship we are in to God.

If we say – “Thy will be done,”

we get the consolation of John 17,

the consolation of knowing that our Father is working according to His own wisdom.

When we understand what God is after we will not get mean and cynical.

Jesus has prayed nothing less for us

than absolute oneness with Himself

as He was one with the Father.

Some of us are far off it,

and yet God will not leave us alone until we are one with Him,

because Jesus has prayed that we might be.

-Oswald Chambers

My Utmost For His Highest

Thank You God, for this new day.

Thank You for these devotional readings that point me to You.

Every morning You give me something that reminds me that I am not alone.

You are with me every step of this journey.

Yes, there are difficult moments.

The tears fall.

I shout at the world.

I shout at him.

WHY?

Then I come back to the heart of it all.

YOU ARE WITH ME.

Nothing touches me that doesn’t go through You first.

You have allowed this for Your purpose.

I don’t begin to understand this,

but I trust that You are working out Your plan for my life.

HE WORKETH!

And so I will praise!

My Journey Through The Dark Valley – Day 24

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Day 24

Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John,

and perceived that they were unlearned and ignorant men,

they marvelled;

and they took knowledge of them,

that they had been with Jesus.

Acts 4:13

Can others see when I have been with Jesus?

Lord, Can others see You in me?

I am not what I once was, but I am not yet what You created me to be.

This has rocked my world.

Nothing is as I thought it would be.

But I trust in You.

I trust in Your plan for me.

And now, there is more work to be done.

Show me how to live this life I’ve been given.

Be with our family.

Walk with us through this dark valley.

I pray for strength and endurance for each of us.

Give us eyes to see Your hand at work in our lives each and every day.

God You are so good to us!

My Journey Through The Dark Valley – Day 23

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Day 23

I cried unto God with my voice, even unto God with my voice;

and He gave ear unto me.

In the day of my trouble I sought the Lord:

my sore ran in the night, and ceased not:

my soul refused to be comforted.

I remembered God, and was troubled:

I complained, and my spirit was overwhelmed.

Selah

Thou holdest mine eyes waking:

I am so troubled that I cannot speak.

I have considered the days of old, the years of ancient times.

I call to remembrance my song in the night:

I commune with mine own heart:

and my spirit made diligent search.

Will the Lord cast off forever?

And will He be favorable no more?

Is His mercy clean gone forever?

Doth His promise fail for evermore?

Hath God forgotten to be gracious?

Hath He in anger shut up His tender mercies?

Selah

And I said,

This is my infirmity:

but I will remember the years of the right hand of the most high.

I will remember the works of the Lord:

surely I will remember Thy wonders of old.

I will meditate also of all Thy work, and talk of Thy doings.

Thy way, O God, is in the sanctuary:

who is so great a God as our God?

Thou art the God that doest wonders:

Thou hast declared Thy strength among Thy people.

Thou hast with Thine arm redeemed Thy people,

the sons of Jacob and Joseph.

Selah

The waters saw Thee, O God, the waters saw Thee;

they were afraid:

 the depths also were troubled.

The clouds poured out water:

the skies sent out a sound:

Thine arrows also went abroad.

The voice of Thy thunder was in the heaven:

 the lightnings lightened the world:

the earth trembled and shook.

Thy way is in the sea,

and Thy path in the great waters,

and Thy footsteps are not known.

Thou leddest Thy people like a flock by the hand of Moses and Aaron.

Psalm 77

“I call to remembrance my song in the night,”

Lord, I thank You for the songs You give me.

Just the right message at just the right time!

My Journey Through The Dark Valley – Day 22

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Day 22

And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes;

and there shall be no more death,

neither sorrow, nor crying,

neither shall there be any more pain:

for the former things are passed away.

Revelation 21:4

Lots of tears today.

It started as I was driving into church.

I passed Jason on his church bus route and the tears came.

Then in church every time someone would hug me, the tears came.

Effie sat beside me and cried with me.

Thank You Lord, for this dear friend.

When I came home Ms. Pepper and I took a ride on the Gator back to the woods, the tears came.

But I also had such a sense of peace in the woods.

Olin and I enjoyed riding through the woods in Missouri.

He wasn’t there today Lord, but You were there.

Learn the Divine skill of making God all things to thee.

He can supple thee with all; or, better still, He can be to thee instead of all.

Let me urge thee, then, to make use of thy God.

Make use of Him in prayer; go to Him often, because He is thy God.

Oh, wilt thou fail to use so great a privilege?

Fly to Him; tell Him all thy wants.

Use Him constantly by faith at all times.

If some dark providence has beclouded thee, use thy God as a “sun”;

if some strong enemy has beset thee, find in Jehovah a “shield”;

for He is a sun and a shield to His people.

If thou hast lost thy way in the mazes of life, use Him as a “guide”;

for He will direct thee.

Whatever thou art, and wherever thou art,

remember God is just what thou wantest,

and just where thou wantest

and that He can do all thou wantest!

-Charles H. Spurgeon

My Journey Through The Dark Valley – Day 21

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Day 21

Like a stone dropped into a lake – the ripples spread out into ever widening circles.

It doesn’t just impact me, it impacts our  entire family.

It impacts our extended family.

It impacts our church family.

It impacts our friends and neighbors.

It impacts everyone whose lives he touched.

Our lives have been forever changed.