My Journey Through The Dark Valley – Day 8

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Day 8

God’s song for me this day – I made a slight change to personalize it.

Sweet Holy Spirit, Sweet heavenly Dove,

Stay right here with me, filling me with Your love.

And for these blessings I lift my heart in praise.

Without a doubt I’ll know that I have been revived,

When I shall leave this place.

Thank You, God, for the celebration of Olin’s life; for the experience of having the sanctuary filled with the Holy Spirit; for the love and support of so many family and friends; for those who watched remotely; and for each and every prayer lifted for us.

Thank You for walking with me through this past week; for smoothing the rough road; for holding me close; for Your Holy Spirit which strengthens me and keeps me.

This morning I walked back into that sanctuary to worship and praise You. I sat in our regular pew with Emma and Charlotte on one side of me and Jacob on my other side. I was surrounded by a church family who are with me in this most difficult time. Thank You Father – I am not alone.

Thank You, only two little words, but my heart is full of praise and thanksgiving, even to this day when the sense of loss is so deep. So I say THANK YOU GOD! I pray that in all of this You would receive honor, glory and praise.

And the God of all grace,

who called you to His eternal glory in Christ,

after you have suffered a little while,

will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast.

I Peter 5:10

There is a peace, which is not the peace of the Son of God.

Be not that our peace, O God!

We cannot know Thy stillness until it is broken.

There is no music in the silence until we have heard the roar of battle!

We cannot see Thy beauty until it is shaded.

After the shadows, the sunlight will come.

– Springs In The Valley

My Journey Through The Dark Valley – Day 7

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Day 7

I bore you on eagle’s wings and brought you to Myself.  

Exodus 19:4b

Thank You, Lord, for carrying me through this week.

I never imagined this was where I would be in my life but You are with me.

I made it through this week, and I will make it through this day and his memorial service.

Thank You for yesterday, for giving me the words at the graveside.

God, give me the words this day to speak to our greater family, to our friends and neighbors,

to our church family both here in Delaware and in Missouri.

I thank You for the technology that enables people to hear the service wherever they may be.

And I thank You for the support system You have surround us with.

Speak through me Father, Your words,

that all may understand how much they need a relationship with You.

Use me for Your glory.

I am willing to be made willing.

My Journey Through The Dark Valley – Day 6

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Day 6

This morning we gathered at the graveside.

It was an intimate gathering,

this family God created,

not a formal service,

just me speaking of the love Olin had for each one of us,

of how proud he was of each one of us.

God met us there.

Simple words were spoken. Grief was shared. Love was abundant!

And then we return to our home for a simple lunch,

for sharing stories and looking at pictures, just being together.

Thank You, Lord, for giving me the words to speak to this family You created.

Thank You for Your presence at that grave.

Thank You that You do not leave us alone, but are always with us.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil:

for Thou art with me;

Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me.

My Journey Through The Dark Valley – Day 5

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Day 5

I cried unto the Lord with my voice, and He heard me out of His holy hill.

Selah.

I laid me down and slept; I awaked; for the Lord sustained me.

Psalm 3:4-5

Thank You Lord, for sleep.

Thank You Lord, for giving me rest.

I went to the funeral home today.

Seeing him in the casket made it real.

But he was not there. It was an empty shell.

What made him – Olin – was not there.

“Why do you look for the living among the dead?”

God, he is with You.

He is experiencing the awesomeness of God.

I wait for the day when we can share that experience –

that heavenly Family Reunion!

My Journey Through The Dark Valley – Day 4

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As the plow cuts a deep furrow in the field – so this pain cuts a deep furrow in my heart.

Lord, You are preparing my heart for the seed You will plant.

Day 4  5:30 a.m.

Lord, I thank You for Larry Pippin. He made a difficult day much easier.

I appreciate his kindness and concern.

Olin is with you and no longer needs his earthly body but I know that his body will be treated with respect and cared for in a loving manner – I trust Larry to do this.

Lord, be in the planning of this service.

May Your Name be lifted up in praise.

May the gospel of Jesus Christ be heard.

Use this for Your glory.

God’s Song For Me This Day

Years I spent in vanity and pride,

Caring not my Lord was crucified,

Knowing not it was for me He died

            On Calvary.

By God’s Word at last I learned,

Then I trembled at the law I’d spurned,

Till my guilty soul imploring turned

            To Calvary.

Now I’ve given to Jesus everything,

Now I gladly own Him as my King,

Now my raptured soul can only sing

            Of Calvary.

O, the love that drew salvation’s plan!

O, the grace that brought it down to man!

O, the mighty gulf that God did span

            At Calvary!

Mercy there was great and grace was free;

Pardon there was multiplied to me;

There my burdened soul found liberty,

            At Calvary!

More Reality Moments:

Meeting with Larry to make the arrangements and meeting with the cemetery staff.

My Journey Through The Dark Valley – Day 3

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Day 3     6 a.m.

O thank You, Lord God!

You have eased my heart.

Olin is with You and I will see him again.

You knew his heart.

You saw his pain.

You have been with him throughout his life and You were with him in the woods on Sunday.

You heard his cry, “God forgive me.”

You were with me on Sunday morning.

You are always with me.

You held me close these past 42 hours.

You patiently led me to Your truth and I was able to smile this morning,

to feel the joy of the Lord,

to know that Olin is with You.

God, You are so good to me!

God’s Song For Me This Day

I don’t know about tomorrow, I just live from day to day.

I don’t borrow form its sunshine, for its skies may turn to gray.

I don’t worry o’er the future, for I know what Jesus said

And today I’ll walk beside Him, for He knows what lies ahead.

Many things about tomorrow, I don’t seem to understand;

But I know Who holds tomorrow, and I know Who holds my hand.

Every step is getting brighter, as the golden stairs I climb;

Every burden’s getting lighter, every cloud is silver lined.

There the sun is always shining, there no tear will dim the eye

At the ending on the rainbow, where the mountains touch the sky.

Many things about tomorrow, I don’t seem to understand;

But I know Who holds tomorrow, and I know Who holds my hand.

I don’t know about tomorrow, it may bring me poverty;

But the One who feeds the sparrow, is the One who stands by me.

And the path that be my portion, may be through the flame or flood,

But His presence goes before me, and I’m covered by the blood.

Many things about tomorrow, I don’t seem to understand;

But I know Who holds tomorrow, and I know Who holds my hand.

Reality Moments – when it hits you that your loved one is really gone and your life is changed.

Monday is usually laundry day and as I folded the clothes I realized that this would be the last time I did his laundry. This was the first of my “reality” moments.

I don’t know where this road will take me but I do know the final destination!

My Journey Through The Dark Valley – Day 2

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Day 2     5:15 a.m.

O God, It hurts!

I need Your hedge of protection, Lord.

Keep me.

Shield me from Satan’s whispers.

Be my defender.

Thank You for Your mercy and grace.

Thank You for caring for Olin.

You were there – even if he couldn’t grasp it.

You were there.

You know his heart.

With all he faced, growing up alone, he would pray, and You heard his prayers.

My life has changed – leaving Missouri – living with the Covid restrictions – watching as the world fall spart – nothing compares to this.

Lord, show me how to live without him.

God is faithful, by whom you were called unto the fellowship of His Son Jesus Christ our Lord.

I Corinthians 1:9 KJV

God, who has called you into fellowship with His Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful. 

NIV

God, who got you started in this spiritual adventure, shares with us the life of His Son and our Master Jesus. Never forget that.  

The Message

O God, You never gave up on Olin.

How he felt never impacted Your truth.

YOU WERE THERE.

The nature of spiritual life is that we are certain in our uncertainty, consequently we do not make our nests anywhere. Common sense says – “Well, supposing I were in that condition . . .”

We cannot suppose ourselves in any condition we have never been in.

Certainty is the mark of the common-sense life: gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life. To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, we do not know what a day may bring forth.

“Believe also in Me,” Jesus said, not – “Believe certain things about Me.”

Leave the whole thing to Him, it is gloriously uncertain how He will come in, but HE WILL COME.

Oswald Chambers – My Utmost for His Highest

You are the Rock on which I stand.

Praise God!

My Song For The Day

Standing on the promises of Christ my King

Through eternal ages let His praises ring

Glory in the highest I will shout and sing

Standing on the promises of God

Standing on the promises that cannot fail

When the howling storms of doubt and fear assail

By the living Word of God I shall prevail

Standing on the promises of God

Standing on the promises of Christ the Lord

Bound to Him eternally by love’s strong cord

Overcoming daily with the Spirit’s sword

Standing on the promises of God

Standing on the promises I cannot fall

Listening every moment to the Spirit’s call

Resting in my Savior as my all in all

Standing on the promises of God

O God, You are faithful. Your Word is true.

I am standing on Your promises.

My Journey Through The Dark Valley – Day 1

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6:15 a.m.

I wrote:

Happy Birthday Olin!

Thank You Lord, for this husband You gave me. Thank You for his giving heart, for his love and support all these years, for the father he has been to our sons, for the grandfather he has been to Jacob, Josh, and Emma, for the “great-man” he has been to Charlotte and Emersyn. Lord, continue to guide him, to teach him, to use him. Bless him and keep him in Your care.

5:30 p.m.

Lord, I do not understand – but I trust!

I trust that You know what happened in the woods today.

I trust that You were there for You promised to never leave us.

I trust that You know what was in his mind and on his heart.

I trust that You are with me in this.

You know that my heart is broken.

I trust that You will walk through this dark valley with me.

I trust that You will bring some good out of this.

I thank You for my family.

I thank You for my faith family, a family that is made up of many fellow believers.

I thank You for so many friends.

I thank You for the time we had and for all the blessings over the years.

Lord, You are so good to us.

My Journey Through The Dark Valley

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God’s Light Shines Through The Storm Clouds

As I have lived through these past two weeks,

I have realized that it would be so easy to stay home and immerse myself in the garden.

I am happy in solitude because I always have God to talk with and I trust His counsel.

But God is calling me to step out of my comfort zone and put myself out there.

My devotional reading for Sunday, April 28th addressed Matthew 28:19-20,

Therefore go and make disciples of all nations,

baptizing them in the name of the Father,

and of the Son,

and of the Holy Spirit,

and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.

And surely I am with you always, even to the end of the age.

Marva J. Dawn wrote that the original Greek version of verse 19 literally says,

“While you are going, be making disciples.”

She closed her devotional reading with this prayer:

Triune God, teach us, and empower us, to share our faith with joy . . .  Amen

I have decided to share my faith,

to invite “whosoever will” to join me on this journey.

This journey through the dark valley was not my plan.

But I trust that nothing touches me that doesn’t go through God first.

Either He sent it

or He allowed it

for HIS purpose.

I journal every day. It keeps me focused on God.

These are the writings I will be sharing.

I will share my conversations with God,

my thoughts,

my struggles,

and my triumphs.

Because I trust that God will bring me through the dark valley

and I will once again walk in the sunlight.

Resurrection Sunday!

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Why do you look for the living among the dead?

He is not here!

He is risen!

Peace be with you!

As the Father has sent Me, I am sending you.

As we celebrate Jesus’ victory on Calvary, we need to ask ourselves – How am I doing with what Jesus asks of me? I heard Ricky Skaggs speak to this and his challenge hit home for me. He spoke of the mission of the church. We are the church and Jesus called us to share His gospel message of love, of mercy, of forgiveness, not just in words but in our actions. He spoke of all that has happened in the world and of how God told us in His Word that these things would happen. So we should not be surprised.

“This has happened on our watch. The churches watch. We’re the strongest, most powerful entity on earth, The Body of Christ. We have a voice. We have authority. We have power that we have not taken because of political correctness, because we don’t want to be some religious zealot. The world is waiting to see us stand up and be who God called us to be.”

Ricky’s message is needed now more than ever. Yes, there are those who don’t want to hear it. They will attempt to silence the message. We must remember that while they may not want to hear it, they need to hear it. They are dying to hear it, dying in their sin because they don’t know Jesus Christ. They don’t know that He wants a relationship with them because He loves them. He died for them.

Do you have that relationship?

Do you know the Savior, Jesus Christ?

If you do then tell somebody.

If you do not, I would like to talk with you.