My Journey Through The Dark Valley – Day 20

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Day 20

Two are better than one;

Because they have a good reward for their labour.

For if they fall,

The one will lift up his fellow:

But woe to him that is alone when he falleth;

For he hath not another to help him up.

Again, if two lie together,

Then they have heat:

But how can one be warm alone?

And if one prevail against him,

Two shall withstand him;

And a three-fold cord is not quickly broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother,

And shall cleave unto his wife:

And they shall be one flesh.

Genesis 2:24

Have ye not read,

That He which made them at the beginning

Made them male and female,

And said,

For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother,

And shall cleave to his wife:

And they shall be one flesh?

Wherefore they are no more twain,

But one flesh.

What therefore God hath joined together,

Let not man put asunder.

Matthew 19:4-6

There were three of us in this marriage –

God – Olin – Charlene

Lord, You are who made this possible.

What You created – this family – has been torn asunder.

He was a part of me, and now he is gone.

I am left with an empty place in me.

Lord, You are the only one who can fill it.

Fill my cup, Lord

I lift it up, Lord

Come and quench this thirsting of my soul

Bread of Heaven, feed me till I want no more

Fill my cup, fill it up and make me whole

My Journey Through The Dark Valley – Day 19

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Day 19

Go . . .  have I not sent you?  Judges 6:14

When God sent Gideon it seemed an impossible task

yet because Gideon was obedient it was accomplished.

Lord, if You lead me I will follow and watch to see Your plan unfold.

Not by might, nor by power, but by My Spirit. – God

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. 

Philippians 4:13

In the evening my wife died.

The next morning I did as I had been commanded.  

Ezekiel 24:18

The great God wants our conspicuous crises to be occasions of conspicuous testimony;

our seasons of darkness to be opportunities for the unveiling of the Divine.

He wants duty to shine more resplendently because of the environing shadows.

He wants tribulation only to furbish and burnish our signs.

He wants us to manifest the sweet grace of continuance

amid all the sudden and saddening upheavals of our intensely varied life.

This was the prophet’s triumph.

He made his calamity a witness to the eternal.

He made his very loneliness minister to his God.

He made his very bereavement intensify his calling.

He took up the old task, and in taking it up he glorified it.

“In the evening my wife died. The next morning I did as I had been commanded.”

The evening sorrow will come to all of us:

What shall we be found doing in the morning?

We shall have to dig graves; have burials:

How shall it be with us when the funeral is over?

J. H. Jowett

Make a pulpit of every circumstance.

Springs In The Valley

Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of His might.

Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood,

but against principalities,

against powers,

against the rulers of the darkness of this world,

against spiritual wickedness in high places.

Ephesians 6:10-12

The battles not mine, said little David,

Lord, its thine

I’m in Your favor,

I’m giving it all to You,

I knew not what to do,

I’m so glad You let me see

That You’re really all that I need,

For the battles not mine

I give it to You

Lord its Thine.

Roderick Windham

My Journey Through The Dark Valley – Day 18

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Day 18

The Breaking Point

On Thursday, May 15th I came down to earth. Everything I did that day seemed to accentuate the loss. So for two days I have put one foot in front of the other and pushed through with times of tears. I couldn’t write. I couldn’t share, but this morning I put on the Country’s Family reunion “Wednesday Night Prayer Meeting” video and cleared my mind. Listening to the old hymns and songs of the faith reminded me of all God has done for us and all the promises He has made us.

God reminded me of the story Catherine Marshall told of her experience when her husband, Rev. Peter Marshall died. So I went to the bookcase and found the book, Meeting God at Every Turn.

Reading her words reminded me that God hasn’t left me and that there is work to be done.

Hear is how she describes those days:

During the funeral preparations and all the myriad decisions to be made,

it was as though I were taken over and managed. In addition, a sort of

protective shield was placed over my emotions. Somehow for those days

I was lifted to a higher realm. Was this, I wondered, what it felt like

actually to be living in the kingdom of God on earth?

Then about eight days after Peter’s death, suddenly that higher realm

in which I had been so lovingly enveloped was gone, and I plummeted

to earth to stand again on feet of clay in the valley where salt tears and

loneliness and the fear of coping alone with the problems of everyday

life were all too real.

My Lord was nearby of course, ready to help me all the way. Yet I

sensed another painful but necessary growth process stretched ahead.

My experience was different in some ways,

but similar in that the Holy Spirit is ministering to me in a different way now.

Those first two weeks He carried me but now He is asking me to walk with Him.

My Journey Through The Dark Valley – Day 17

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Day 17

. . .  to have and to hold from this day forward,

for better, for worse

for richer, for poorer

in sickness and in health

to love and to cherish

until death do us part

Lord, it is difficult to cease being a wife.

As wonderful as our marriage here on earth was,

Your words paint a different picture for eternal life.

Jesus answered and said unto them,

You do err, not knowing the scriptures,

nor the power of God.

For in the resurrection they neither marry,

nor are given in marriage,

but are as the angels of God in heaven.

Matthew 22:29-30

My imagination doesn’t cover heaven because You, O Lord,

are greater than anything that I could ever imagine.

I keep coming back to this truth:

I Must Trust!

So I trust.

I trust that however it may be,

it will be good,

because You are good.

My Journey Through The Dark Valley – Day 16

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My Song For This Day:

Lord, I have shut the door,
Speak now the word
Which in the din and throng
Could not be heard;
Hushed now my inner heart,
Whisper Thy will,
While I have come apart,
While all is still.

Lord, I have shut the door,
Here do I bow;
Speak, for my soul attent
Turns to Thee now;
Rebuke Thou what is vain,
Counsel my soul,
Thy holy will reveal,
My will control.

In this blest quietness
Clamorings cease;
Here in Thy presence dwells
Infinite peace;
Yonder, the strife and cry,
Yonder, the sin:
Lord, I have shut the door,
Thou art within!

Lord, I have shut the door,
Strengthen my heart;
Yonder awaits the task—
I share a part;
Only through grace bestowed
May I be true;
Here, while alone with Thee,
My strength renew.

William M. Runyan, 1923

Lord, This alone time with You gets me ready to face the day.

I need this quiet space – knowing that as I go about my day – You go with me.

My Journey Through The Dark Valley – Day 15

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Day 15

I was glad when they said unto me,

Let us go into the house of the Lord.

Our feet shall stand within thy gates, O Jerusalem.

Jerusalem is builded as a city that is compact together:

whither the tribes go up,

the tribes of the Lord,

unto the testimony of Israel,

to give thanks unto the name of the Lord.

For there are set thrones of judgment,

the thrones of the house of David.

Pray for the peace of Jerusalem:

they shall prosper that love thee.

Peace within thy walls,

and prosperity within thy palaces.

For my brethren and companion’s sake,

I will now say,

Peace be within thee.

Because of the house of the Lord our God I will seek thy good.

Psalm 122

KJV

Lord, Sunday seems to be my most difficult day.

I miss him all the time, but especially so on Sunday.

Sitting in our regular space without him by my side brings the loss home to me.

The tears usually begin to fall during the singing.

 I am not alone for family and friends have sat with me,

held my hand, and sometimes cried with me.

Thank You for the support system that surrounds me.

Thank You for Your mercy and Your grace.

I will praise You through my tears.

My Journey Through The Dark Valley – Day 14

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I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God,

that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice,

holy, acceptable unto God,

which is your reasonable service.

And be not conformed to this world:

But be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind,

That ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Romans 12:1-2

KJV

So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you:

Take your everyday, ordinary life

 – your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life –

and place it before God as an offering.

Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for Him.

Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit it without even thinking.

Instead, fix your attention on God.

You’ll be changed from the inside out.

Readily recognize what He wants from you, and quickly respond to it.

Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity,

God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

The Message

Thank You Lord, for a more restful sleep.

Thank You for the progress I made yesterday – the bookcases are more organized, the bedroom is coming together, and I’m writing on the blog once again.

Thank You that everyday You send me something, some indication, that You are with me – a scripture verse, a song, a card in the mail with just the right words.

Lord, You are my constant companion.

We are engaged in a continuous conversation.

Thank You for that.

Guide me this day.

Give me the words that You would have me speak.

Use me for Your glory.

Lord, show me the way forward on this journey I am now on.

I don’t need to know where I’ll be a year from now, but I do need You to direct my steps moment by moment.

My Song For Today

Take my life and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee.

Take my moments and my days; let them flow in endless praise.

Take my hands and let them move at the impulse of Thy love.

Take my feet and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee.

Take my voice and let me sing always, only, for my King.

Take my lips and let them be filled with messages from Thee.

Take my silver and my gold; not a mite would I withhold.

Take my intellect and use every power as Thou shalt choose.

Take my will and make it Thine; it shall be no longer mine.

Take my heart it is Thine own; it shall be Thy royal throne.

Take my love; my Lord, I pour at Thy feet its treasure store.

Take myself, and I will be ever, only, all for Thee.\

-Frances Ridley Havergal

Lord, I pray for those who do not know You, those living life without hope.

Open their eyes, unstop their ears, break their stony hearts.

We see the results of lives lived without You.

Our world is a mess.

They run after every solution but You, not realizing the You are our only HOPE.

My Journey Through The Dark Valley – Day 13

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Day 13

The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?

The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?

When the wicked, even min enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh,

they stumbled and fell.

Though an host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear:

though war should rise against me, in this will I be confident.

One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after;

that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,

to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in His temple.

For in the time of trouble He shall hide me in His pavilion:

in the secret of His tabernacle shall He hide me;

He shall set me up upon a rock.

And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me:

therefore will I offer in His tabernacle sacrifices of joy;

I will sing, yea, I will sing praise unto the Lord.

Hear, O Lord, when I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me, and answer me.

When Thou said, Seek My face; my heart said unto Thee, Thy face, Lord, will I seek.

Hide not Thy face far from me; put not Thy servant away in anger:

Thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation.

When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up.

Teach me Thy way, O Lord, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies.

Deliver me not over unto the will of mine enemies:

for false witnesses are risen up against me, and such as breathe out cruelty.

I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart:

Wait, I say, on the Lord.

Psalm 27

Then said his wife unto him,

Dost thou still retain thy integrity?

Curse God, and die.

But he said unto her,

Thou speakest as one of the women speaketh.

What?

Shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil?

Job 2:9-10

KJV

His wife said,

“Still holding on to your precious integrity, are you?

Curse God and be done with it.”

He told her,

“You’re talking like an empty-headed fool.

We take the good days from God – why not also the bad days?”

The Message

Lord, You are so good to me.

Thank You!

You do not leave me in the midst of my distress.

You are with me.

You surround me with love.

Thank You!

Lord, give me more of You.

Fill this hole in my heart with more of You.

Thank You for Olin – for all the years – for all the memories – for the family and friends – for the life we built together.

We were blessed.

We are blessed.

Because it isn’t over.

Life goes on – a new path – but it does go on.

Eternal life is promised.

Jesus said,

Because I live, ye shall live also.

God, You have given us so much good,

even the bad times are useful,

teaching us to live life abundantly,

so I will praise You, even to this day.

My Journey Through The Dark Valley – Day 12

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Day 12

Come unto Me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

Take My yoke upon you, and learn of Me; for I am meek and lowly in heart:

And ye shall find rest unto your souls.

For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light.

Matthew 11:28-30

“I am so weak I cannot write; I cannot read my Bible; I cannot even pray.

I can only lie still in God’s arms like a little child, and trust.

-Hudson Taylor

-that is all God asks of you, His dear child, when you grow faint in the fires of affliction.

Do not try to be strong.

Just be still and know that He is God, and will sustain you, and bring you through.

-Streams In The Desert

Lord, I am in need of Your rest.

Rest for my physical body.

Rest for my soul.

Thank You that You are always with me.

Thank You for the Bible Study group.

Thank You for the community of believers that surrounds me, encourages me, supports me, and loves me.

Through The Dark Valley – Day 11

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Depart from me, all ye workers of iniquity; for the Lord hath heard the voice of my weeping.

The Lord hath heard my supplication; the Lord will receive my prayer.

Psalm 6:8-9

I don’t know how, but You, O God, will bring me through this.

I have said before:

You are enough.

Now I will live it.

You are enough.

You are my strength.

You are my Source.

Thank You for keeping me.

Thank You for loving me.

Thank You for saving me.

Thank You for using me.

I am willing to be made willing.

“Prayer is suffering’s best result.”

Eugene Peterson

“O my God, teach me, when the shadows have gathered, that I am only in a tunnel.

It is enough for me to know that it will be all right some day. “

George Matheson

“ ‘The road is too rough,’ I said;

‘It is uphill all the way;

No flowers, but thorns instead;

And the skies over head are grey.’

But One took my hand at the entrance dim,

And sweet is the road that I walk with Him.

“ ‘ The cross is too great,’ I cried –

‘More than the back can bear,

So rough and heavy and wide,

And nobody by to care.’

And One stooped softly and touched my hand:

‘I know. I care. I understand.’

“Then why do we fret and sigh;

Cross-bearers all we go:

But the road ends by and by

In the dearest place we know,

And every step in the journey we

May take in the Lord’s own company.”

-Streams In The Desert

Patience is more than endurance. A saint’s life is in the hands of God like a bow and arrow in the hands of an archer. God is aiming at something the saint cannot see, and He stretches and strains, and every now and again the saint says – “I cannot stand any more.”

God does not heed, He goes on stretching till His purpose is in sight, then He lets fly. Trust yourself in God’s hands.

For what have you need of patience just now?

Maintain your relationship to Jesus Christ by the patience of faith.

“Though He slay me, yet I will wait for Him.”

Oswald Chambers  My Utmost For His Highest

Lord, I am being stretched tighter than I have ever been

I will trust in You – in Your purpose

I am willing to be made willing