My Journey Through The Dark Valley – Day 15

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Day 15

I was glad when they said unto me,

Let us go into the house of the Lord.

Our feet shall stand within thy gates, O Jerusalem.

Jerusalem is builded as a city that is compact together:

whither the tribes go up,

the tribes of the Lord,

unto the testimony of Israel,

to give thanks unto the name of the Lord.

For there are set thrones of judgment,

the thrones of the house of David.

Pray for the peace of Jerusalem:

they shall prosper that love thee.

Peace within thy walls,

and prosperity within thy palaces.

For my brethren and companion’s sake,

I will now say,

Peace be within thee.

Because of the house of the Lord our God I will seek thy good.

Psalm 122

KJV

Lord, Sunday seems to be my most difficult day.

I miss him all the time, but especially so on Sunday.

Sitting in our regular space without him by my side brings the loss home to me.

The tears usually begin to fall during the singing.

 I am not alone for family and friends have sat with me,

held my hand, and sometimes cried with me.

Thank You for the support system that surrounds me.

Thank You for Your mercy and Your grace.

I will praise You through my tears.

My Journey Through The Dark Valley – Day 13

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Day 13

The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?

The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?

When the wicked, even min enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh,

they stumbled and fell.

Though an host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear:

though war should rise against me, in this will I be confident.

One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after;

that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,

to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in His temple.

For in the time of trouble He shall hide me in His pavilion:

in the secret of His tabernacle shall He hide me;

He shall set me up upon a rock.

And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me:

therefore will I offer in His tabernacle sacrifices of joy;

I will sing, yea, I will sing praise unto the Lord.

Hear, O Lord, when I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me, and answer me.

When Thou said, Seek My face; my heart said unto Thee, Thy face, Lord, will I seek.

Hide not Thy face far from me; put not Thy servant away in anger:

Thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation.

When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up.

Teach me Thy way, O Lord, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies.

Deliver me not over unto the will of mine enemies:

for false witnesses are risen up against me, and such as breathe out cruelty.

I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart:

Wait, I say, on the Lord.

Psalm 27

Then said his wife unto him,

Dost thou still retain thy integrity?

Curse God, and die.

But he said unto her,

Thou speakest as one of the women speaketh.

What?

Shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil?

Job 2:9-10

KJV

His wife said,

“Still holding on to your precious integrity, are you?

Curse God and be done with it.”

He told her,

“You’re talking like an empty-headed fool.

We take the good days from God – why not also the bad days?”

The Message

Lord, You are so good to me.

Thank You!

You do not leave me in the midst of my distress.

You are with me.

You surround me with love.

Thank You!

Lord, give me more of You.

Fill this hole in my heart with more of You.

Thank You for Olin – for all the years – for all the memories – for the family and friends – for the life we built together.

We were blessed.

We are blessed.

Because it isn’t over.

Life goes on – a new path – but it does go on.

Eternal life is promised.

Jesus said,

Because I live, ye shall live also.

God, You have given us so much good,

even the bad times are useful,

teaching us to live life abundantly,

so I will praise You, even to this day.

Through The Dark Valley – Day 11

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Depart from me, all ye workers of iniquity; for the Lord hath heard the voice of my weeping.

The Lord hath heard my supplication; the Lord will receive my prayer.

Psalm 6:8-9

I don’t know how, but You, O God, will bring me through this.

I have said before:

You are enough.

Now I will live it.

You are enough.

You are my strength.

You are my Source.

Thank You for keeping me.

Thank You for loving me.

Thank You for saving me.

Thank You for using me.

I am willing to be made willing.

“Prayer is suffering’s best result.”

Eugene Peterson

“O my God, teach me, when the shadows have gathered, that I am only in a tunnel.

It is enough for me to know that it will be all right some day. “

George Matheson

“ ‘The road is too rough,’ I said;

‘It is uphill all the way;

No flowers, but thorns instead;

And the skies over head are grey.’

But One took my hand at the entrance dim,

And sweet is the road that I walk with Him.

“ ‘ The cross is too great,’ I cried –

‘More than the back can bear,

So rough and heavy and wide,

And nobody by to care.’

And One stooped softly and touched my hand:

‘I know. I care. I understand.’

“Then why do we fret and sigh;

Cross-bearers all we go:

But the road ends by and by

In the dearest place we know,

And every step in the journey we

May take in the Lord’s own company.”

-Streams In The Desert

Patience is more than endurance. A saint’s life is in the hands of God like a bow and arrow in the hands of an archer. God is aiming at something the saint cannot see, and He stretches and strains, and every now and again the saint says – “I cannot stand any more.”

God does not heed, He goes on stretching till His purpose is in sight, then He lets fly. Trust yourself in God’s hands.

For what have you need of patience just now?

Maintain your relationship to Jesus Christ by the patience of faith.

“Though He slay me, yet I will wait for Him.”

Oswald Chambers  My Utmost For His Highest

Lord, I am being stretched tighter than I have ever been

I will trust in You – in Your purpose

I am willing to be made willing

My Journey Through The Dark Valley – Day 8

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Day 8

God’s song for me this day – I made a slight change to personalize it.

Sweet Holy Spirit, Sweet heavenly Dove,

Stay right here with me, filling me with Your love.

And for these blessings I lift my heart in praise.

Without a doubt I’ll know that I have been revived,

When I shall leave this place.

Thank You, God, for the celebration of Olin’s life; for the experience of having the sanctuary filled with the Holy Spirit; for the love and support of so many family and friends; for those who watched remotely; and for each and every prayer lifted for us.

Thank You for walking with me through this past week; for smoothing the rough road; for holding me close; for Your Holy Spirit which strengthens me and keeps me.

This morning I walked back into that sanctuary to worship and praise You. I sat in our regular pew with Emma and Charlotte on one side of me and Jacob on my other side. I was surrounded by a church family who are with me in this most difficult time. Thank You Father – I am not alone.

Thank You, only two little words, but my heart is full of praise and thanksgiving, even to this day when the sense of loss is so deep. So I say THANK YOU GOD! I pray that in all of this You would receive honor, glory and praise.

And the God of all grace,

who called you to His eternal glory in Christ,

after you have suffered a little while,

will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast.

I Peter 5:10

There is a peace, which is not the peace of the Son of God.

Be not that our peace, O God!

We cannot know Thy stillness until it is broken.

There is no music in the silence until we have heard the roar of battle!

We cannot see Thy beauty until it is shaded.

After the shadows, the sunlight will come.

– Springs In The Valley

My Journey Through The Dark Valley – Day 4

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As the plow cuts a deep furrow in the field – so this pain cuts a deep furrow in my heart.

Lord, You are preparing my heart for the seed You will plant.

Day 4  5:30 a.m.

Lord, I thank You for Larry Pippin. He made a difficult day much easier.

I appreciate his kindness and concern.

Olin is with you and no longer needs his earthly body but I know that his body will be treated with respect and cared for in a loving manner – I trust Larry to do this.

Lord, be in the planning of this service.

May Your Name be lifted up in praise.

May the gospel of Jesus Christ be heard.

Use this for Your glory.

God’s Song For Me This Day

Years I spent in vanity and pride,

Caring not my Lord was crucified,

Knowing not it was for me He died

            On Calvary.

By God’s Word at last I learned,

Then I trembled at the law I’d spurned,

Till my guilty soul imploring turned

            To Calvary.

Now I’ve given to Jesus everything,

Now I gladly own Him as my King,

Now my raptured soul can only sing

            Of Calvary.

O, the love that drew salvation’s plan!

O, the grace that brought it down to man!

O, the mighty gulf that God did span

            At Calvary!

Mercy there was great and grace was free;

Pardon there was multiplied to me;

There my burdened soul found liberty,

            At Calvary!

More Reality Moments:

Meeting with Larry to make the arrangements and meeting with the cemetery staff.

My Journey Through The Dark Valley – Day 1

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6:15 a.m.

I wrote:

Happy Birthday Olin!

Thank You Lord, for this husband You gave me. Thank You for his giving heart, for his love and support all these years, for the father he has been to our sons, for the grandfather he has been to Jacob, Josh, and Emma, for the “great-man” he has been to Charlotte and Emersyn. Lord, continue to guide him, to teach him, to use him. Bless him and keep him in Your care.

5:30 p.m.

Lord, I do not understand – but I trust!

I trust that You know what happened in the woods today.

I trust that You were there for You promised to never leave us.

I trust that You know what was in his mind and on his heart.

I trust that You are with me in this.

You know that my heart is broken.

I trust that You will walk through this dark valley with me.

I trust that You will bring some good out of this.

I thank You for my family.

I thank You for my faith family, a family that is made up of many fellow believers.

I thank You for so many friends.

I thank You for the time we had and for all the blessings over the years.

Lord, You are so good to us.

My Journey Through The Dark Valley

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God’s Light Shines Through The Storm Clouds

As I have lived through these past two weeks,

I have realized that it would be so easy to stay home and immerse myself in the garden.

I am happy in solitude because I always have God to talk with and I trust His counsel.

But God is calling me to step out of my comfort zone and put myself out there.

My devotional reading for Sunday, April 28th addressed Matthew 28:19-20,

Therefore go and make disciples of all nations,

baptizing them in the name of the Father,

and of the Son,

and of the Holy Spirit,

and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.

And surely I am with you always, even to the end of the age.

Marva J. Dawn wrote that the original Greek version of verse 19 literally says,

“While you are going, be making disciples.”

She closed her devotional reading with this prayer:

Triune God, teach us, and empower us, to share our faith with joy . . .  Amen

I have decided to share my faith,

to invite “whosoever will” to join me on this journey.

This journey through the dark valley was not my plan.

But I trust that nothing touches me that doesn’t go through God first.

Either He sent it

or He allowed it

for HIS purpose.

I journal every day. It keeps me focused on God.

These are the writings I will be sharing.

I will share my conversations with God,

my thoughts,

my struggles,

and my triumphs.

Because I trust that God will bring me through the dark valley

and I will once again walk in the sunlight.

JOY

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And the ransomed of the LORD shall return,

                And come to Zion with songs and everlasting joy upon their heads:

They shall come obtain joy and gladness, and sorrow and sighing shall flee away.

Isaiah 35:10

                                                                                                                      

Marva J. Dawn writes in her book Joy In Our Weakness, “Joy is the deep sense of God’s sustaining Presence, the realization that divine light is greater than any darkness that might temporarily assail us. Thus, Joy does not mean “happiness,” which is dependent upon human circumstances.”

My joy is not dependent upon my circumstances but instead comes from my relationship with my Creator, and that never changes. God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

In these days of much uncertainty there is one thing for certain, and that is the God we serve.

Let us consider the words of the psalmist:

Many are asking, “Who can show us any good?”

            Let the light of Your face shine upon us, O Lord.

            You have filled my heart with greater JOY

            Than when their grain and new wine abound.

            I will lie down and sleep in peace,

for You alone, O Lord,

make me dwell in safety.

What brings you JOY?

For me it is my family –

Including our furry ones –

Even the morning chores –

The breaking of a new day –

The setting of the sun –

As you light the third candle – the candle of JOY –  let us remember that because Jesus Christ was born in Bethlehem, walked this earth in human form experiencing everything we experience, died on a cross at Calvary, rose from the grave defeating death, and now sits at the right hand of God our Father, we are redeemed. We live in the Joy of the Lord for Christ is our JOY!      

But let all those that put their trust in Thee rejoice:

let them ever shout for JOY, because Thou defendest them:

let them also that love Thy name be joyful in Thee.

Psalm 5:11

THE CANDLE OF HOPE

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Today we light the candle of HOPE.

O LORD,

as I light this first candle of the Advent season

– the candle of HOPE –

I am reminded of the hope that I have in You.

My Advent wreath holds small jar candles.

The flame is small but steady, giving light in the darkness.

The darkness cannot overcome the light that it gives.

We live in a world that threatens to overwhelm us with the darkness of evil.

There are wars,

Russia attacking Ukraine, Hamas terrorists attacking Israel;

and civil wars

in the Central African Republic, Afghanistan, Ethiopia, Libya, Mali, Myanmar, Somalia, Syria, and Yemen.

There are countries experiencing terrorist insurgencies and ethnic violence.

 There are drug wars in South America.

There are natural disasters

volcanic eruptions, earthquakes, hurricanes, forest fires,

flooding in some areas with severe drought in others.

There are fears of another pandemic,

supply chain issues,

financial concerns,

and a lack of trust in our own government.

And the list goes on.

All of this leads to a sense of despair,

a lack of hope.

But I am reminded when I see the small flame of my Advent candle,

the darkness cannot overcome the light.

LORD,

You know the state of this world.

For God so loved the world,

that He gave His only begotten Son,

that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish,

but have everlasting life.

For God sent not His Son into the world to condemn the world;

but that the world through Him might be saved.

He that believeth on Him is not condemned:

but he that believeth not is condemned already,

because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

And this is the condemnation,

that LIGHT is come into the world,

and men loved darkness rather than LIGHT,

because their deeds were evil.

John 3:16-19

LORD,

You had a plan from the beginning.

In the beginning was the WORD,

and the WORD was with GOD,

and the WORD was GOD.

The same was in the beginning with GOD.

All things were made by HIM:

and without HIM

was not anything made that was made.

In HIM was life;

and the life was the LIGHT of men.

And the LIGHT shineth in the darkness;

and the darkness comprehended it not.

John 1:1-5

LORD,

You are our HOPE!

These things I have spoken unto you,

that in Me ye might have peace.

In the world ye shall have tribulation:

but be of good cheer;

I have overcome the world.

John 16:33

And so on this the First Sunday of Advent

I thank You for the birth of a tiny babe so long ago,

Jesus Christ,

Emmanuel,

God with us.

And I thank You for the promise,

Let not your heart be troubled:

ye believe in God,

believe also in Me.

In my Father’s house are many mansions:

if it were not so,

I would have told you.

I go to prepare a place for you,

I will come again,

and receive you unto myself;

that where I am,

there ye may be also.

John 14:1-2

LORD,

As we await Your coming,

we live in a world where hope is scarce.

But for those who know YOU,

for those who trust in YOU,

we have this hope.

As You have cared for us in past days,

so we trust You to care for us this day,

and in the days to come.

As we await the day of Your return,

show us how to live in this world

in such a way as to bring

honor, glory and praise

to Your Holy Name.

AMEN