My Journey Through The Dark Valley – Day 22

Day 22

And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes;

and there shall be no more death,

neither sorrow, nor crying,

neither shall there be any more pain:

for the former things are passed away.

Revelation 21:4

Lots of tears today.

It started as I was driving into church.

I passed Jason on his church bus route and the tears came.

Then in church every time someone would hug me, the tears came.

Effie sat beside me and cried with me.

Thank You Lord, for this dear friend.

When I came home Ms. Pepper and I took a ride on the Gator back to the woods, the tears came.

But I also had such a sense of peace in the woods.

Olin and I enjoyed riding through the woods in Missouri.

He wasn’t there today Lord, but You were there.

Learn the Divine skill of making God all things to thee.

He can supple thee with all; or, better still, He can be to thee instead of all.

Let me urge thee, then, to make use of thy God.

Make use of Him in prayer; go to Him often, because He is thy God.

Oh, wilt thou fail to use so great a privilege?

Fly to Him; tell Him all thy wants.

Use Him constantly by faith at all times.

If some dark providence has beclouded thee, use thy God as a “sun”;

if some strong enemy has beset thee, find in Jehovah a “shield”;

for He is a sun and a shield to His people.

If thou hast lost thy way in the mazes of life, use Him as a “guide”;

for He will direct thee.

Whatever thou art, and wherever thou art,

remember God is just what thou wantest,

and just where thou wantest

and that He can do all thou wantest!

-Charles H. Spurgeon

My Journey Through The Dark Valley – Day 20

Day 20

Two are better than one;

Because they have a good reward for their labour.

For if they fall,

The one will lift up his fellow:

But woe to him that is alone when he falleth;

For he hath not another to help him up.

Again, if two lie together,

Then they have heat:

But how can one be warm alone?

And if one prevail against him,

Two shall withstand him;

And a three-fold cord is not quickly broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother,

And shall cleave unto his wife:

And they shall be one flesh.

Genesis 2:24

Have ye not read,

That He which made them at the beginning

Made them male and female,

And said,

For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother,

And shall cleave to his wife:

And they shall be one flesh?

Wherefore they are no more twain,

But one flesh.

What therefore God hath joined together,

Let not man put asunder.

Matthew 19:4-6

There were three of us in this marriage –

God – Olin – Charlene

Lord, You are who made this possible.

What You created – this family – has been torn asunder.

He was a part of me, and now he is gone.

I am left with an empty place in me.

Lord, You are the only one who can fill it.

Fill my cup, Lord

I lift it up, Lord

Come and quench this thirsting of my soul

Bread of Heaven, feed me till I want no more

Fill my cup, fill it up and make me whole

My Journey Through The Dark Valley – Day 15

Day 15

I was glad when they said unto me,

Let us go into the house of the Lord.

Our feet shall stand within thy gates, O Jerusalem.

Jerusalem is builded as a city that is compact together:

whither the tribes go up,

the tribes of the Lord,

unto the testimony of Israel,

to give thanks unto the name of the Lord.

For there are set thrones of judgment,

the thrones of the house of David.

Pray for the peace of Jerusalem:

they shall prosper that love thee.

Peace within thy walls,

and prosperity within thy palaces.

For my brethren and companion’s sake,

I will now say,

Peace be within thee.

Because of the house of the Lord our God I will seek thy good.

Psalm 122

KJV

Lord, Sunday seems to be my most difficult day.

I miss him all the time, but especially so on Sunday.

Sitting in our regular space without him by my side brings the loss home to me.

The tears usually begin to fall during the singing.

 I am not alone for family and friends have sat with me,

held my hand, and sometimes cried with me.

Thank You for the support system that surrounds me.

Thank You for Your mercy and Your grace.

I will praise You through my tears.

My Journey Through The Dark Valley – Day 13

Day 13

The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?

The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?

When the wicked, even min enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh,

they stumbled and fell.

Though an host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear:

though war should rise against me, in this will I be confident.

One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after;

that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,

to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in His temple.

For in the time of trouble He shall hide me in His pavilion:

in the secret of His tabernacle shall He hide me;

He shall set me up upon a rock.

And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me:

therefore will I offer in His tabernacle sacrifices of joy;

I will sing, yea, I will sing praise unto the Lord.

Hear, O Lord, when I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me, and answer me.

When Thou said, Seek My face; my heart said unto Thee, Thy face, Lord, will I seek.

Hide not Thy face far from me; put not Thy servant away in anger:

Thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation.

When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up.

Teach me Thy way, O Lord, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies.

Deliver me not over unto the will of mine enemies:

for false witnesses are risen up against me, and such as breathe out cruelty.

I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart:

Wait, I say, on the Lord.

Psalm 27

Lord, You are so good to me.

Thank You!

You do not leave me in the midst of my distress.

You are with me.

You surround me with love.

Thank You!

Lord, give me more of You.

Fill this hole in my heart with more of You.

Thank You for Olin – for all the years – for all the memories – for the family and friends – for the life we built together.

We were blessed.

We are blessed.

Because it isn’t over.

Life goes on – a new path – but it does go on.

Eternal life is promised.

Jesus said,

Because I live, ye shall live also.

God, You have given us so much good,

even the bad times are useful,

teaching us to live life abundantly,

so I will praise You, even to this day.

Through The Dark Valley – Day 11

Depart from me, all ye workers of iniquity; for the Lord hath heard the voice of my weeping.

The Lord hath heard my supplication; the Lord will receive my prayer.

Psalm 6:8-9

I don’t know how, but You, O God, will bring me through this.

I have said before:

You are enough.

Now I will live it.

You are enough.

You are my strength.

You are my Source.

Thank You for keeping me.

Thank You for loving me.

Thank You for saving me.

Thank You for using me.

I am willing to be made willing.

“Prayer is suffering’s best result.”

Eugene Peterson

O my God, teach me, when the shadows have gathered, that I am only in a tunnel.

It is enough for me to know that it will be all right some day.

George Matheson

“ ‘The road is too rough,’ I said;

‘It is uphill all the way;

No flowers, but thorns instead;

And the skies over head are grey.’

But One took my hand at the entrance dim,

And sweet is the road that I walk with Him.

“ ‘ The cross is too great,’ I cried –

‘More than the back can bear,

So rough and heavy and wide,

And nobody by to care.’

And One stooped softly and touched my hand:

‘I know. I care. I understand.’

“Then why do we fret and sigh;

Cross-bearers all we go:

But the road ends by and by

In the dearest place we know,

And every step in the journey we

May take in the Lord’s own company.”

-Streams In The Desert

Patience is more than endurance. A saint’s life is in the hands of God like a bow and arrow in the hands of an archer. God is aiming at something the saint cannot see, and He stretches and strains, and every now and again the saint says – “I cannot stand any more.”

God does not heed, He goes on stretching till His purpose is in sight, then He lets fly. Trust yourself in God’s hands.

For what have you need of patience just now?

Maintain your relationship to Jesus Christ by the patience of faith.

“Though He slay me, yet I will wait for Him.”

Oswald Chambers  My Utmost For His Highest

Lord, I am being stretched tighter than I have ever been

I will trust in You – in Your purpose

I am willing to be made willing

My Journey Through The Dark Valley – Day 8

Day 8

God’s song for me this day – I made a slight change to personalize it.

Sweet Holy Spirit, Sweet heavenly Dove,

Stay right here with me, filling me with Your love.

And for these blessings I lift my heart in praise.

Without a doubt I’ll know that I have been revived,

When I shall leave this place.

Thank You, God, for the celebration of Olin’s life; for the experience of having the sanctuary filled with the Holy Spirit; for the love and support of so many family and friends; for those who watched remotely; and for each and every prayer lifted for us.

Thank You for walking with me through this past week; for smoothing the rough road; for holding me close; for Your Holy Spirit which strengthens me and keeps me.

This morning I walked back into that sanctuary to worship and praise You. I sat in our regular pew with Emma and Charlotte on one side of me and Jacob on my other side. I was surrounded by a church family who are with me in this most difficult time. Thank You Father – I am not alone.

Thank You, only two little words, but my heart is full of praise and thanksgiving, even to this day when the sense of loss is so deep. So I say THANK YOU GOD! I pray that in all of this You would receive honor, glory and praise.

And the God of all grace,

who called you to His eternal glory in Christ,

after you have suffered a little while,

will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast.

I Peter 5:10

There is a peace, which is not the peace of the Son of God.

Be not that our peace, O God!

We cannot know Thy stillness until it is broken.

There is no music in the silence until we have heard the roar of battle!

We cannot see Thy beauty until it is shaded.

After the shadows, the sunlight will come.

Springs In The Valley

My Journey Through The Dark Valley – Day 5

Day 5

I cried unto the Lord with my voice, and He heard me out of His holy hill.

Selah.

I laid me down and slept; I awaked; for the Lord sustained me.

Psalm 3:4-5

Thank You Lord, for sleep.

Thank You Lord, for giving me rest.

I went to the funeral home today.

Seeing him in the casket made it real.

But he was not there. It was an empty shell.

What made him – Olin – was not there.

Why do you look for the living among the dead?”

God, he is with You.

He is experiencing the awesomeness of God.

I wait for the day when we can share that experience –

that heavenly Family Reunion!

My Journey Through The Dark Valley – Day 4

As the plow cuts a deep furrow in the field – so this pain cuts a deep furrow in my heart.

Lord, You are preparing my heart for the seed You will plant.

Day 4  5:30 a.m.

Lord, I thank You for Larry Pippin. He made a difficult day much easier.

I appreciate his kindness and concern.

Olin is with you and no longer needs his earthly body but I know that his body will be treated with respect and cared for in a loving manner – I trust Larry to do this.

Lord, be in the planning of this service.

May Your Name be lifted up in praise.

May the gospel of Jesus Christ be heard.

Use this for Your glory.

God’s Song For Me This Day

Years I spent in vanity and pride,

Caring not my Lord was crucified,

Knowing not it was for me He died

            On Calvary.

By God’s Word at last I learned,

Then I trembled at the law I’d spurned,

Till my guilty soul imploring turned

            To Calvary.

Now I’ve given to Jesus everything,

Now I gladly own Him as my King,

Now my raptured soul can only sing

            Of Calvary.

O, the love that drew salvation’s plan!

O, the grace that brought it down to man!

O, the mighty gulf that God did span

            At Calvary!

Mercy there was great and grace was free;

Pardon there was multiplied to me;

There my burdened soul found liberty,

            At Calvary!

More Reality Moments:

Meeting with Larry to make the arrangements and meeting with the cemetery staff.

My Journey Through The Dark Valley

God’s Light Shines Through The Storm Clouds

As I have lived through these past two weeks,

I have realized that it would be so easy to stay home and immerse myself in the garden.

I am happy in solitude because I always have God to talk with and I trust His counsel.

But God is calling me to step out of my comfort zone and put myself out there.

My devotional reading for Sunday, April 28th addressed Matthew 28:19-20,

Therefore go and make disciples of all nations,

baptizing them in the name of the Father,

and of the Son,

and of the Holy Spirit,

and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.

And surely I am with you always, even to the end of the age.

Marva J. Dawn wrote that the original Greek version of verse 19 literally says,

“While you are going, be making disciples.”

She closed her devotional reading with this prayer:

Triune God, teach us, and empower us, to share our faith with joy . . .  Amen

I have decided to share my faith,

to invite “whosoever will” to join me on this journey.

This journey through the dark valley was not my plan.

But I trust that nothing touches me that doesn’t go through God first.

Either He sent it

or He allowed it

for HIS purpose.

I journal every day. It keeps me focused on God.

These are the writings I will be sharing.

I will share my conversations with God,

my thoughts,

my struggles,

and my triumphs.

Because I trust that God will bring me through the dark valley

and I will once again walk in the sunlight.

PEACE

For unto us a child is born, unto us a Son is given:

And the government shall be upon His shoulder:

And His name shall be called

Wonderful,

Counsellor,

The Mighty God,

The Everlasting Father,

The Prince of Peace.

Of the increase of His government and peace there shall be no end,

upon the throne of David,

and upon His kingdom,

to order it,

and to establish it with judgment and with justice from henceforth even for ever.

The zeal of the Lord of hosts will perform this.

Isaiah 9:6-7

On this fourth Sunday of Advent we light the candle of Peace.

We light this candle as a symbol of the Prince of Peace.

May the visitation of Your Holy Spirit,

O God,

make us ready for the coming of Jesus,

our hope and joy.

O Come, O Come, Emmanuel!

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow wrote the poem “Christmas Bells” after his son was wounded in battle during the Civil War. He wrote of the contrast of the Christmas bells ringing out “Peace on earth, good-will to men” while the United States was facing a civil war with its citizens fighting each other. The version we find in most Christmas music omits the third and fourth stanzas, which refer to the canon fire on the battlefield.

I heard the bells on Christmas day
Their old familiar carols play,
    And wild and sweet
    The words repeat
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

I thought how, as the day had come,
The belfries of all Christendom
    Had rolled along the unbroken song
    Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Then from each black, accursed mouth
The cannon thundered in the South,
    And with the sound
    The carols drowned
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

It was as if an earthquake rent
The hearth-stones of a continent,
    And made forlorn
    The households born
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And in despair I bowed my head
“There is no peace on earth, I said”
    “For hate is strong, and mocks the song
    Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
“God is not dead: nor doth He sleep;
    The wrong shall fail, the right prevail,
   Of peace on earth, good-will to men

Till, ringing, singing on its way,
The world revolved from night to day,
    A voice, a chime, a chant sublime,
   Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Sadly, the world still does not enjoy peace on earth as we enter this Christmas season. There are struggles in various locations all around the world, most notably in the middle east and in Ukraine. However, Christians are not without hope, for God has promised that evil will not triumph in the end.

The first time Jesus came to earth He came as a baby. When He returns at His second coming He will come in power and glory to set up His kingdom on earth where He will reign for a thousand years.

And I saw an angel come down from heaven, having the key of the bottomless pit and a great chain in his hand. And he laid hold of the dragon, the old serpent, which is the Devil, and Satan, and bound him a thousand years, and cast him into the bottomless pit, and shut him up, and set a seal upon him, that he should deceive the nations no more, till the thousand years should be fulfilled: and after that he must be loosed a little season. Revelation 20:1-3

After the thousand years Satan will be loosed out of his incarceration and will prepare for the final battle. God will deal with Satan and those who deny Christ for a final time.

This is what Christmas really means. God set in motion His plan to redeem a fallen world.

Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,” for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and He will dwell with them. They will be His people, and God Himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then He said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true,”

He said to me: “It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To the thirsty I will give water without cost from the spring of the water of life. Those who are victorious will inherit all this, and I will be their God and they will be my children. But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars – they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.            Revelation 21:1-8

Where are you this Christmas Eve?

Are you looking with great expectation for Christ’s second coming

or are you denying God’s plan for your salvation?

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:

“God is not dead: nor doth He sleep;

The wrong shall fail, the right prevail,

With peace on earth, good-will to men.”