Disobedience

My last posting was on March the 6th, Ash Wednesday, when I wrote these words:

If we believe that God is Who He says He is and the God will do what He says He will do then we must live it out. The Bible says that all have sinned, therefore all are called to repentance. Will you humble yourself on this day of repentance and fall before the LORD and confess your sin and repent? Or will you listen to Satan’s lies and stand on your own?

Since that day I have been like Jonah, running in the opposite direction from where God was calling me to go. Today’s devotional reading challenged me and I share it with you along with my journal entry for this day.

“And the ill favored and lean-fleshed kine did eat up the seven well favored and fat kine . . .

and the thin ears swallowed up the seven rank and full ears.”

Genesis 41:4,7

There is a warning for us in that dream, just as it stands;It is possible for the best years of our life, the best experiences,the best victories won, the best service rendered, to be swallowed up by the times of failure, defeat, dishonor, uselessness in the kingdom. Some men’s lives of rare promise and rare achievement have ended so. It is awful to think of, but it is true. Yet it is never necessary.

S. D. Gordon has said that the only assurance of safety against this tragedy is “fresh touch with God,” daily, hourly. The blessed, fruitful, victorious experiences of yesterday are of no value to me today, but they will actually be eaten up or reversed by today’s failures, unless they serve as incentives to still better, richer experiences today.

“Fresh touch with God,” by abiding in Christ, alone will keep the lean kine and the ill-favored grain out of my life.

-Messages for the Morning Watch.

Today’s devotional reading from Streams In The Desert was short and to the point – and very much needed. Lord, I am so very far from You today. Not because You left me but because I have refused to follow where You are leading. I haven’t rebelled outright but rather, I have dragged my feet, made excuses, and procrastinated. But in the end it arrives at the same result.

I have not done what You have asked me to do.

I have often asked You to use me however You choose but instead of obeying I have made excuses, substituted my own plans for Yours, and the end is disobedience, however I try to spin it.

Forgive me, Lord. Like Jonah I have run in the opposite direction. I am sorry.

I do not want to be here in this situation.

I need You.

I cannot live apart from You.