I woke up at three o’clock this morning with Willie Nelson in my head singing

“You Were Always On My Mind”

(you can check it out at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DDGiSoLIG8I.)

Maybe I didn’t love you
Quite as often as I could have
Maybe I didn’t treat you
Quite as good as I should have
If I made you feel second best
Girl I’m sorry I was blind

You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

And maybe I didn’t hold you
All those lonely, lonely times
I guess I never told you
I’m so happy that you’re mine

Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time
But you were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

Tell me, tell me that your sweet love hasn’t died
Give me, give me one more chance
To keep you satisfied
I’ll keep you satisfied

Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time
But you were always on my mind
You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

 

Willie is singing of a woman that he loves.

I am thinking of the child that I never held.

We are the parents of two amazing sons who are now in their forties.

Which is amazing since I don’t feel that much older myself!

 

In between their births there was a child that never was – according to those who believe in abortion.

They say a child isn’t really a child until it is born.

But I for me – I was a mother at the moment of conception.

I talked to my baby within me and waited impatiently to meet my child face to face,

 to count the fingers

 

 and the toes

to smell that “new baby smell.”

 

 

 

 

 

I wore maternity clothes at the first swelling of that “baby bump.”

 

 

That is how it was for my first pregnancy and for my second and for my third.

The first birth was a baby boy who looked so much like his Daddy I couldn’t quite wrap my mind around it.

And then much to my amazement the third birth was another baby boy who looked exactly like the first. It is difficult to tell who is who in their first year baby pictures.

 

 

The middle pregnancy was different.

I had just begun to wear maternity clothes and sharing the news that we were expecting.

And then one day things were just not right and so there was a visit  to the OBGYN

where I was examined and then told to come out when I had dressed.

I went out into the hallway

and the doctor met me there and told me that there was no heartbeat,

that my body would “spontaneously abort.”

He assured me that it would be no problem

and that I should go on about my normal routine.

So I went back to the office wearing my maternity clothes.

With only a few close friends who knew what was happening it was a long lonely week.

What do you say to a woman who is obviously pregnant but knows it is not to be?

 

When I awoke that morning the cramping started and my husband went off to work.

He dropped our oldest son off at the babysitters.

Remember the doctor said it was no big deal.

But it turns out that it was a very big deal.

 

When it was over I crawled into a hot bath to relax my aching body and soothe my hurting spirit.

I then proceeded to hemorrhage.

My parents came and after an argument with the doctors office

called an ambulance to take me to the hospital.

I was in shock from the loss of blood and had to have a blood transfusion.

After a few days I returned home with empty arms.

 

A year later my arms were filled with my second son who also looked just like his Daddy!

We have many memories of those growing up years and now they are men with families of their own and we have grandchildren and great-grandchildren!

 

But I have never forgotten the child I have yet to meet.

One Sunday our pastor preached from the Book of Job.

In the land of Uz there lived a man whose name was Job.

This man was blameless and upright; he feared God and shunned evil.

He had seven sons and three daughters,

and he owned seven thousand sheep,

three thousand camels,

five hundred yoke of oxen

and five hundred donkeys,

and had a large number of servants.            Job 1:1-3

 

Job suffered a calamity.

He lost everything, sheep, camels, oxen, donkeys, servants, and his children.

But . . .

The Lord blessed the later part of Job’s life more than the first.

            He had fourteen thousand sheep,

                        six thousand camels,

                        a thousand yoke of oxen

                        and a thousand donkeys.

            And he also had seven sons and three daughters.      Job 42:12-13

 

When God restored Job

He gave back twice the camels,

twice the oxen,

and twice the donkeys.

 

Job received double of everything but his children

because he never really lost his children.

 

I was in tears at the end of that sermon

because it reminded me that I hadn’t really “lost” my child.

I just hadn’t met him or her yet.

 

The older I get the more this child is “always on my mind.”

 

When we were expecting a visit from our granddaughter and great-granddaughter last summer I was in a state of great anticipation.

And the closer it got to their arrival date the more excited I got.

The closer I get to my “going home” date the more excited I am about meeting my middle child.

 

You are always on my mind

            You are always on my mind

           

             I didn’t get to tell you

            How much you meant to me

            I didn’t get to kiss you

            Or hug you or bounce you on my knee

 

            But you are always on my mind . . .

 

 

 

When March came in this year with wind and rain, ice and snow, and cold . . . well, I thought it meant we would have beautiful spring weather for Easter Sunday. But, no, our weather forcast calls for snow tomorrow!

 

As I walked the dogs this morning the sky was dark and some would say gloomy. But I know that beyond those dark clouds the sun is still shining. If you look close you can see glimpses of blue beyond the gray.

I can imagine how it must have been for those who had placed their hope in Jesus, only to watch Him die a horrible, painful, humiliating death on a cross. This what not what they had expected. Where was the conquering hero in this picture? And now what?

They were lost and discouraged, with no one to lead them. They huddled together in fear of what was to come. They forgot the lessons He had taught them. They were in shock. Regardless of what the weather was outside, they were enveloped in darkness. They could see no way out.

 

Sometimes we feel the same – troubles assail – sickness – relationships – finances – you name it – and we see no way out . . .

Hold on, dear friends,

Morning is coming!

Then came the morning

Night turned into day

The stone was rolled away

Hope rose with the dawn

Then came the morning

Shadows vanished before the sun

Death had lost and life had won

For morning had come

Listen to the words Bill Gaither wrote and you will understand the hope that is ours as followers of Jesus Christ.

Today is the Fourth Sunday in Lent and also the day we “spring forward” losing an hour of sleep. And it is snowing!

Church service was canceled this morning. Having a church in the middle of farm country, where most folks must travel some distance on back roads to attend has its disadvantages. But we like our little country church.

And so I am sitting watching the snow fall, listening to the Gospel Train on the radio, and having my own worship service.

 

Psalm 107:1-3, 17-22

O give thanks unto the LORD, for He is good: His mercy endureth forever. Let the redeemed of the LORD say so, whom He hath redeemed from the hand of the enemy.And gathered them out of the lands, from the east , and from the west, from the north, and from the south.

Fools because of their transgression, and because of their iniquities, are afflicted. Their soul  abhorreth all manner of meat; and they draw near unto the gates of death. Then they cry unto the LORD in their trouble, and He saveth them out of their distresses. He sent His word, and healed them, and delivered them from their destructions. Oh that men would praise the LORD for His goodness, and for His wonderful works to the children of men! And let them sacrifice the sacrifices of thanksgiving, and declare His works with rejoicing.

Numbers 21:4-9

And they journeyed from the Hor by the way of the Red sea, to compass the land of Edom: and the soul of the people was much discouraged because of the way. And the people spake against God, and against Moses, Wherefore have ye brought us up out of Egypt to die in the wilderness? for there is no bread, neither is there any water; and our soul loatheth this light bread. And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died. Therefore the people came to Moses, and said, We have sinned, for we have spoken against the LORD, and against thee; pray unto the LORD, that He take away the serpents from us. And Moses prayed for the people. And the LORD said unto Moses, Make thee a fiery serpent, and set it upon a pole: and it shall come to pass, that every one that is bitten, when he looketh upon it, shall live. And Moses made a serpent of brass, and put it upon a pole, and it came to pass, that if a serpent had bitten any man, when he beheld the serpent of brass, he lived.

Ephesians 2:1-10

And hath he quickened, who were dead in trespasses and sins; wherein in time past ye walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience: among whom also we all had our conversation in times past in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind; and were by nature the children of wrath, even as others. But God, who is rich in mercy, for His great love wherewith He loved us, even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, by grace are ye saved; and hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus: that in the ages to come He might shew the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us through Christ Jesus. For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: not of works, lest any man should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them. 

John 3:14-21

And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of man be lifted up: that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have eternal life. For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not His Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through Him might be saved. He that believeth on Him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved the darkness rather then the light, because their deeds were evil. For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds be reproved. But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God.

This is the Word of God for the people of God.  Thanks be to God!

What kind of God do we serve?

An Awesome God.

A Holy God.

A Loving God.

A God of Mercy And Grace.

A God Who Cares About Every Detail Of Our Life.

A God Who Desires A Relationship With Us.

A God Who Wants To Use Us To Bring Light To Those Living In Darkness.

 

Do you trust God enough to answer His call on your life?

Whatever it may be?

Or are you trying to play “Let’s Make A Deal” with God.

God knows you better than you know yourself.

God has a task prepared especially for you.

Will you trust Him and accept it?

 

For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: not of works, lest any man should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them. 

 

 

Arise, shine; for thy light is come, and the glory of the LORD is risen upon thee.

For, behold, the darkness shall cover the earth, and gross darkness the people:

but the LORD shall rise upon thee, and his glory shall be seen upon thee.

And the Gentiles shall come to thy light, and kings to the brightness of the rising.

Lift up thine eyes round about, and see: all they gather themselves together,

they come to thee:

thy sons shall come from afar,

and thy daughters shall be nursed at thy side.

Then thou shalt see, and flow together, and thine heart shall fear, and be enlarged;

because the abundance of the sea shall be converted unto thee,

the forces of the Gentiles shall come to unto thee.

The multitude of camels shall cover thee, the dromedaries of Midian and Ephah;

all they from Sheba shall come: they shall bring gold and incense;

and they shall shew forth the praises of the LORD.

Isaiah 60:1-6

 

Light of the world, we hail thee,

Flooding the eastern skies;

Never shall darkness veil thee

Again from human eyes;

Too long, alas, with-holden,

Now spread from shore to shore;

Thy light, so glad and golden, 

Shall set on earth no more.

 

Light of the world, thy beauty 

Steals into every heart, 

And glorifies with duty

Life’s poorest, humblest part;

Thou robest in thy splendor

The simplest ways of men,

And helpest them to render

Light back to thee again.

 

Light of the world, illumine

This darkened earth of thine,

Till everything that’s human

Be filled with the divine;

Till every tongue and nation,

From sin’s dominion free,

Rise in the new creation

Which springs from love and thee.

Amen

John S. Monsell 1811-1875

William Walker 1809-1875

 

Luke 2:10-14

And the angel said unto them,

Fear not: for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you;  ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.                                                                                                  

And suddenly there was with the angel, a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men. 

 

Christmas !

The first moments of Christmas Day  and I am remembering the services at the church in Magnolia, DE where we welcomed Christmas with the bell ringing out at midnight.

Families were encouraged to bring their children in their PJ’s so they would be ready for bed. There was a loose format. The Holy Spirit seemed to have a surprise for us each year. One year our pianist and organist were both sick and a gentleman from New York City who had performed on Broadway came and played the piano and sang for the service. Another year it was family members from out of town who added to our service. But always Rick would play his guitar and sing “Christmas In The Trenches” and the choir would sing “Whisper” as a gift to me. Oh how I loved that service.

Tonight I am a thousand miles away in Missouri. I am greeting Christmas in my living room. I can enjoy Rick on YouTube but sadly, I cannot find the song “Whisper” anywhere on the internet. But I can hear them in my heart.

Thank You, LORD,  for the people who have blessed my life over the years.

Thank You for the miracle of Christmas, God in human flesh, come to earth to live among us, to teach us how to live, to die for our sin, to conquer death and rise from the grave, to make it possible for us to have a relationship with our Creator. Praise God!

 

We light this Christ Candle in celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ. May Christ be birthed within us this day, that we may be witnesses of His coming. O God, grant that His light may shine through us, and that the world will come to the Light.

And the Word became flesh and lived among us, and we have seen His glory.                [John14a]

For unto us a child is born, unto us a Son is given;

and the government shall be upon His shoulder;

and His name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor,

The Mighty God, the Everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.

Of the increase of His government and peace there shall be no end,

upon the throne of David, and upon His kingdom,

to order it, and to establish it with judgment and with justice

from henceforth even for ever.

The zeal of the LORD of hosts will perform this.                                  Isaiah 9:6-7

 

Peace!

 

Last Sunday I wrote of joy:

My joy is not dependent upon my circumstances

but instead comes from my relationship with my Creator,

and that never changes.

God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

 

The same must be said of peace.

My peace is not the absence of conflict

but the presence of my LORD

and He is with me always.

 

My father died last spring,

a friend in Delaware is mourning the death of her husband this fall

while yet another is grieving the death of her son.

On Thursday we suffered the loss of a dear friend and neighbor.

So how do we celebrate Christmas in the midst of such hurting?

Where is our peace?

 

For me it is in God’s Word.

 

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Thee;

because he trusteth in Thee.                          Isaiah 26:3

 

I am reminded that God is my peace and I choose to trust in Him.

 

And the work of righteousness shall be peace; and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance for ever.

And My people shall dwell in a peaceable habitation, and in sure dwellings, and in quiet resting places;                                           Isaiah 32:17-18

 

O that thou hadst hearkened to My commandments! Then had thy peace been as a river, and thy righteousness as the waves of the sea.     Isaiah 48:18

 

I choose Christ,

I choose to live under God’s law.

I choose to submit to the leading of His Holy Spirit.

Therefore God is my peace.

 

And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.                            Philippians 4:7

As I write this the snow is falling

– a perfect beginning for the morning of Christmas Eve.

We will attend a worship service and praise the LORD.

I will give thanks

for those whose lives have touched and blessed mine in some way

and who are no longer with us.

A father who did not know the LORD

but was an example to me of what a father should be.

Because of his love for me

I was not afraid to trust in my heavenly Father.

 

A man I never met who brought joy to the life of my friend.

 

A young man

whom I had the privilege of knowing as a child in our church

and watching grow into a man, a husband, and a father.

 

A friend and neighbor who cared for our critters

when we traveled to Delaware for visits with family.

Who came with his wife

and spent the morning harvesting our corn crop – by hand.

Who sat on our front porch eating fried chicken –

sharing food and stories.

 

I will remember these lives that have touched mine and I will have peace

– a peace that is not based on my circumstances –

a peace comes from trusting in God.

Jesus said it best –

 

Peace I leave with you, My peace I give unto you;

not as the world giveth, give I unto you.

Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.     John 14:27

 

My prayer for you this last Sunday of Advent:

 

The LORD lift us His countenance upon thee and give thee peace.

Numbers 6:26

 

We light this candle as a symbol of the Prince of Peace.

May the visitation of Your Holy Spirit, O God, make us ready for the coming of Jesus, our hope and our joy.

O come, O come, Emmamuel.

And the ransomed of the LORD shall return,

And come to Zion with songs and everlasting joy upon their heads:

They shall come obtain joy and gladness, and sorrow and sighing shall flee away.

Isaiah 35:10

 

 

JOY!

Marva J. Dawn writes in her book Joy In Our Weakness, “Joy is the deep sense of God’s sustaining Presence, the realization that divine light is greater than any darkness that might temporarily assail us. Thus, Joy does not mean “happiness,” which is dependent upon human circumstances.”

My joy is not dependent upon my circumstances but instead comes from my relationship with my Creator, and that never changes. God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

In these days of much uncertainty there is one thing for certain, and that is the God we serve.

What brings you JOY?

For me it is my family –

 

Including our furry ones –

 

 

The breaking of a new day –

 

The setting of the sun –

That first crop of spring – Asparagus!

Our church family –

 

As you light the third candle – the candle of JOY –  let us remember that because Jesus Christ was born in Bethlehem, walked this earth in human form experiencing everything we experience, died on a cross at Calvary, rose from the grave defeating death, and now sits at the right hand of God our Father, we are redeemed. We live in the Joy of the Lord for Christ is our JOY!

 

But let all those that put their trust in Thee rejoice: let them ever shout for JOY, because Thou defendest them: let them also that love Thy name be joyful in Thee.

                                                                                                            Psalm 5:11

 

Thou wilt show me the path of life: in Thy presence is fulness of JOY;

 at Thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.

Psalm16:11

 

Rejoice in the LORD always; and again I say, REJOICE.

                                                                                                Philippians 4:4

 

These things have I spoken unto you,

that My JOY might remain in you,

 and that your JOY might be full.

John 15:11

 

 

We light this candle as a symbol of Christ our JOY.

May the joyful promise of Your presence, O God,

make us rejoice in our hope of salvation.

O come, O come, Emmanuel.

 

 

 

The beginning of the gospel of Jesus Christ, the Son of God.

As it is written in the prophets,

Behold, I send my messenger before thy face,

      which shall prepare thy way before thee.

The voice of one crying in the wilderness,

          Prepare ye the way of the Lord, make his paths straight.

John did baptize in the wilderness,

     and preach the baptism of repentance for the remission of sins.   Mark 1:1-4

 

 

The baptism of repentance – do these words make you uncomfortable?

Repentance admits I cannot do it on my own.

Repentance says I am a sinner and only by surrendering my life to God can Christ be formed in me by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Repentance lays it all at the foot of the cross.

 

 

Oswald Chambers writes :

The entrance into the Kingdom is through the panging pains of repentance crashing into a man’s respectable goodness; then the Holy Ghost, Who produces these agonies, begins the formation of the Son of God in the life. The new life will manifest itself in unconscious holiness, never the other way about. The bedrock of Christianity is repentance.

From-My Utmost For His Highest

 

There is only one way – Jesus Christ –  and that requires repentance.

God has given us His Word in the scriptures and they are our roadmap.

God has given us the Holy Spirit to guide us along the way.

Spend time in prayer and Bible study.

Equip yourself for your journey.

 

    

We light this candle as a symbol of Christ The Way.

May the Word sent from God through the prophets lead us to the way of salvation which is Jesus Christ.

O come, O come, Emanuel.

 

HOPE

Isaiah 60:2-3

Arise, shine; for thy light is come, and the glory of the Lord is risen upon thee.

For, behold, the darkness shall cover the earth, and gross darkness the people:                    but the Lord shall arise upon thee, and his glory shall be seen upon thee.

We light this candle as a symbol of Christ our Hope.

May the light sent from God shine in the darkness to show us the way of salvation.

O come, O come, Emanuel!

Having

One

Purpose

Eternally

 

A life lived with Jesus Christ

That is my HOPE

That is not a “maybe . . . someday . . . somehow . . . wisp of a dream”

NO it is a “God said it and I believe it” certainty in my life.

And so on this first Sunday of Advent I light the candle of HOPE.

I celebrate by remembering that time long, long, ago when God chose a newly betrothed couple to be parents. God chose Joseph, a compassionate man, a hard working carpenter, a man obedient to the Holy Spirit, to be His earthly father; to teach Him and guide Him through His childhood. God chose Mary, a young lady with a heart to serve. Even though she was young she accepted the role God had chosen for her. She risked censure from her family, her friends and neighbors to bear a child. Not just any child but God wrapped in humanity.

God with eyes and ears, fingers and toes, skin and bones, a belly button and nose!

Immanuel – God with us.

But we must not fragment God.

We cannot accept the baby Jesus without also accepting the man who walked this earth, ate with sinners, healed the sick, fed the hungry, brought living water to the thirsty, and challenged those who talked faith but did not live it. The man who suffered and died on a cross so that others might find life.

While we are listening to songs about the baby Jesus I would suggest a song by the Gaithers about the One who died for you. “Then Came The Morning.”

They all walked away, nothing to say
They’d just lost their dearest friend
All that He said, now He was dead
So this was the way it would end

The dreams they had dreamed were not what they’d seemed
Now that He was dead and gone
The garden, the jail, the hammer, the nail
How could a night be so long?

Then came the morning
Night turned into day
The stone was rolled away
Hope rose with the dawn

Then came the morning
Shadows vanished before the sun
Death had lost and life had won
For morning had come

The angel, the star, the kings from afar
The wedding, the water, the wine
Now it was done, they’d taken her Son
Wasted before His time

She knew it was true, she’d watched Him die too
She’d heard them call Him just a man
But deep in her heart she knew from the start
Somehow her Son would live again

Then came the morning
Night turned into day
The stone was rolled away
Hope rose with the dawn

Then came the morning
Shadows vanished before the sun
Death had lost and life had won
For morning had come

 

So while we celebrate the birth of Jesus, the ministry of Jesus, the death and resurrection of Jesus, let us not forget the promise of Jesus’ return.

This time He will not come as a helpless baby but as the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.

The first time He came quietly, almost unnoticed.

But not so His return.

 

 

My brother tells me that our road isn’t wide enough to qualify as a “road” so I guess it we should call it a “lane.” I’ll look up the definition of a lane when I can find my dictionary. (I’m still unpacking after our move – November 2012!)

Don’t remind me that I can look it up online – there is something about holding a book in my hand that makes a difference to me. I love my Kindle for convenience when traveling but it will never replace my library shelves.

But I digress.

I like that we live on a quiet country “lane” – something that requires cooperation with our neighbors. For when we happen to meet someone coming in the opposite direction then one of us must yield, for there simply isn’t enough room for us to pass each other. Someone has to yield.

And that is true in life – someone has to yield. There is give and take. Problems arise when you find the person who always gives or the one who always takes.

No one likes the person who always takes without giving for they are selfish, with no thought for others. Not someone we want to hang around with.

But the one who always gives has a problem also. For they must learn how to accept gifts graciously, be it actions or words, lest they rob another of the joy of giving.

All of us need the others. God created us to live in community.

Now, how did I find myself on a quiet country lane in Missouri?

That is a story for another day!